Your sex life is meant to be preserved for you and your spouse only (see post “I Didn’t Choose Purity Because I’m A Christian”). This goes for married people as well as for single people. But “preserved” sexuality and “repressed” sexuality are two very different things.
Viewing purity from a preservation standpoint allows for a healthy view of sexuality. Looking at sex from a preservation standpoint, we can see that sex is natural and intended for a purpose. If we are preserving something for future use, then there is a purpose for that thing we are preserving. You preserve fruit in a jar for the purpose of eating it someday. In the same way, you preserve your sex life so that it can be used someday. This preservation standpoint gives a single person hope that he or she will one day be able to enjoy sex to its fullest extent in its proper context: with his or her spouse.
This is opposed to the repression standpoint that is taught in many Christian families and churches. Teaching someone to repress his or her sexuality teaches them that sex is meant to be avoided and is inherently bad or sinful. This also teaches someone that if he or she has sexual desires, then he or she is abnormal or that those feelings are wrong. The truth is, those feelings are normal and natural.
Teaching someone to preserve his or her actions on those desires will reinforce that those desires are normal and even good.
In a nutshell, a person who is taught about sex from a preservation standpoint will be more likely to view sex as good and will be more motivated to choose a lifestyle of purity. A person who is taught about sex from a repression standpoint will be more likely to view sex as bad and will be more motivated to rebel and act on his or her sexual desires before marriage.
Remember that purity is a lifestyle choice. Therefore, purity can’t be taught. But it can be modeled. I’m writing these posts because I want to be a model of purity. And by modeling purity for others, I can teach others the benefits of purity.
When it comes to encouraging others to model purity as well, teaching them that sexual desires are meant to be preserved rather than repressed is most effective and most true.